becauseicare

madhorse @ 2004-07-18T18:04:00

2004-07-18T22:15:33Z

madhorse @ 2004-06-14T09:30:00

2004-06-14T13:31:05Z

shit the decemberists!!!!!!!!

more pics from lisa of sanibel

2004-06-14T12:42:20Z

i was being exteremly stupid haha

haha butts

captiva

Bubble room

from dock

from bridge

okay the reason for this picture is yeah we where extremely hyped up and saw pics of lisa in drag. and it was so funny we tried. it turned out to be a disater but SO funny.

thanks

2004-06-13T06:20:52Z

all i must say..... brillant. FUCKING BRILLANT NIGHT. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW AWESOME I FEEL AT THIS VERY MOMENT. TO NOT GIVE A FUCK WHAT SO EVER AND DO WHAT I FELT LIKE DOING. its 2 am. i was out all night when i shouldnt have been. with ALL of my friends. AN ALL AROUND FEEL GOOD NIGHT. this night was the most awesome in a long time. thanks to my friends. everyone of you is awesome. all the crappy feelings are gone from friday and its because of my friends.
i love u kyle, randy, and lester! thanks kyle for footin the bill. thanks lester for footin the bill for bowling. thanks Randy for old man laugh.
ps: thanks jenn for being jenn, cant wait to see u.
thanks myspace cuz i waste time on u and i dont feel guilty at all for wasting time there.
thanks eric for cheering me up.
thanks brian for being awesome to talk to about everything.

this week i have a feeling is going to be awesome.
oh and feet loved to be touched too.
i do miss no cars, no lights, no noise what so ever. i want to go to MI.

good fucking amazing night!!!!
:)

madhorse @ 2004-06-09T18:25:00

2004-06-09T22:27:47Z

my new hair and myspace glasses hahaha

madhorse @ 2004-06-08T16:18:00

2004-06-08T20:19:10Z

its stupid how stupid i am with this thing

madhorse @ 2004-06-07T09:47:00

2004-06-07T13:48:13Z

i no longer work for brookhaven nature center
YES!!!!!!!!!!

madhorse @ 2004-06-03T17:16:00

2004-06-03T21:26:25Z

not to pleased with the new job. its fucking boring. and i mean boring, i worked 9 to 4 30 and sat around for about 5 hours of the day and did nothing and maybe an hour and a half i actually did some kind of work. and the people i work with are boring. and they dont care if we dont do anything. just what is expected to be done has to get done. so me the whole day was look around, rub arm, see a lot of little shitty kids, walk around outside, rub arms, go get lunch, then swep and pull weeds then sit around for the rest of the afternoon. yeah exciting not! im taking a book next time. so fucking boring. i want to quit already, but then i go to pier one, and rebecca is doing the scheduling so yeah i only work one day a week there, what the fuck. she can fucking suck a rusty nail. that lady hates me and i hate her. whatever. so now im going to stick with this boring ass job cuz i need the money plus pier one is giving shitty hours and even after i raked in 3,000$ the other day for them, they give me shit hours

akdfhakdjfal;k j

im tired and alittle pissy

madhorse @ 2004-06-02T23:57:00

2004-06-03T04:00:21Z

MuthaFugkinFBM: somebody deleted me from myspace hahaha!
xmadhorsex: hahah loser! jk
MuthaFugkinFBM: :-!
xmadhorsex: the world is about to end for u right?
xmadhorsex: haha
MuthaFugkinFBM: yeah its all over now
xmadhorsex: cuz if that happened to me, i would lock my self in a closet
xmadhorsex: and cry for a week and talk no phoncalls
MuthaFugkinFBM: i would just lie underneath my bed for a month or 3
xmadhorsex: haha eww, and make friends with dust bunnies
xmadhorsex: haha
xmadhorsex: actually they make awesome friends
xmadhorsex: i have 5
xmadhorsex: ron, bobbie, joy, izzie, and retia
MuthaFugkinFBM: haha
xmadhorsex: retia is a backstabbin bitch tho, dont tell her serects, she likes to spread the dust about other people, psssshhh bitch
xmadhorsex: now izzie hes one crazy motherfucker
MuthaFugkinFBM: hahaha
MuthaFugkinFBM: he does coke?
xmadhorsex: 4 times a day
MuthaFugkinFBM: fucksake
xmadhorsex: i tried getting him help
xmadhorsex: but no place would help a dust bunny
xmadhorsex: there all biases and say we only help humans
xmadhorsex: i was like fuck u man, equal rights
MuthaFugkinFBM: lol
xmadhorsex: he lives in America too

haha random conversations about junk is funny

madhorse @ 2004-06-02T21:03:00

2004-06-03T01:04:43Z

Prepare your shoes
not to come back soon,
prepare your heart
not to stop too soon.
You cannot walk with us.
One step inside doesn't
mean you understand,
one step inside doesn't mean I'm yours.
In your world my feet are out of step,
my arms don't move, my hand
won't grab.
I will never read your stupid map,
so don't call me incomplete,
you are the freak

madhorse @ 2004-06-02T13:44:00

2004-06-02T17:58:11Z

{x} Made out with JUST a friend? i dk if u call it that
{x} Been rejected? yeh
{x} Been in love? nah
{x} Been in lust? yeh
{x} Used someone? yeh
{x} Been used? yeh
{x} Cheated on someone? nah
{x} Been cheated on? yeh
{x} Done something you regret? YEH

Who was the last person...
{x} You touched? my boss/ ex-bio teacher. hand shake
{x} You talked to? andy
{x} You hugged? Stephanie
{x} You instant messaged? jenn
{x} You yelled at? mom
{x} You laughed with? eric

Have you/are you/do you....
{x} Considered a life of crime? nah
{x} Considered being a hooker? NAH
{x} Considered being a pimp? 24/7
{x} Split personalities? nah
{x} Schizophrenic? haha yeh
{x} Depressed? nah
{x} Suicidal? nah
{x} Obsessed with hate? nah
{x} Hungry: no just had a veggie burger
{x} Friendly: yeh
{x} Smart: in certian areas
{x} Moody: yeh haha
{x} Independent: YEH
{x} Hard working: yeh
{x} Organized: yeh im a dork
{x} Healthy: yeh
{x} Attractive: i guess, sure
{x} Bored Easily: sometimes
{x} Thirsty: nah
{x} Responsible: yeh
{x} Happy: yeh!
{x} Color your hair? yeh
{x} Ever get off the damn computer? yeh
{x} Current Clothes: pants and black shirt from OLD NAVY haha
{x} Current Mood: bored
{x} Current Taste: vernors
{x} Current Hair: pony
{x} Current Annoyance: all the bugs
{x} Current Smell: na
{x} Current thing you ought to be doing: gym
{x} Current Desktop Picture: nina
{x} Current Favorite Group: to hard to pick
{x} Current Book: the gift of fear
{x} Current DVD In Player: na
{x} Current Refreshment: na
{x} Current Worry: calling in sick to mather when im not sick
{x} Current Favorite Celebrity: scarlette jonhassion (sp?)

Favorites
{x} Food: fruit
{x} Drink: vernors and unsweeted ice tea
{x} Color: green
{x} Shoes: flip flops
{x} Gum: orbit
{x} TV Show: eh
{x} Movie: to many
{x} Long or short hair? both
{x} Dark or blond hair? dark
{x} Tall or short? taort
{x} Mr. Sensitive or Mr. Funny? funny
{x} Good guy or bad guy? both
{x} Dark or light eyes? piercing
{x} Hat or no hat? no hat
{x} Pierced or no? depneds
{x} Freckles or none? doesnt matter
{x} Stubble or neatly shaved? neatly shaved.
{x} Rugged outdoorsy type or sporty type? outdoorsy

This or That?
{x} Chocolate milk or hot chocolate? hot chocolate
{x} McDonalds or Burger King? ew
{x} Sweet or sour? sweet
{x} Root Beer or Dr. Pepper? root beer
{x} Sappy/action/comedy/horror?: all mostly horror
{x} Cats or dogs? cats
{x} Ocean or Pool? depends
{x} Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese? ew
{x} Mud or Jell-O wrestling? mud
{x} With or without ice-cubes? with
{x} Shine or rain? shine
{x} Winter/Summer/Fall/Spring? spring/summer
{x} Vanilla or Chocolate? vanilla
{x} Fly or breathe under water? fly
{x} Bunk-bed or waterbed? bunk
{x} Chewing gum or hard candy? gum
{x} Motor boat or sailboat? sailboat
{x} Lights on or off? off
{x} Chicken or fish? eh

What's your favorite:
{x} Number? 17
{x} Holiday? groundhog
{x} State? ny
{x} Radio station? any oldies rock
{x} Place? any park with birds

madhorse @ 2004-06-02T12:48:00

2004-06-02T16:54:39Z

aaaaaahhhhh im so excited, i went and filled papers out for my tourguide job. aaaaaaaaaahhhh i have to call in sick to mather tomm cuz they need to set me up tomm. im working at the yellow house at cedar beach. its the nature center there. so hell yeah! they need me on weekends, so no pier 1 on sat and sun, unless nights on sat. so yeah. this job is going to be so awesome. my boss is my bio teacher from suffolk hahah. hes really cool tho. hes like do u have a problem with picking up little creatures. i was like NOOOOOOO (in my head i was like this rules so much). i think i have to talk to little kids. wheres jenn she needs to teach me a few things about them. im not much of a kid person. hahah oh well. so im excited and pumped! he we come three jobs! oh man this is going to be tuff managing.
it will all work out.
:)
:)
:)
:)

madhorse @ 2004-05-30T22:19:00

2004-05-31T02:20:20Z

HI
OH, PS;

CAN I PLUG YOU?
WILL YOU PORK ME?
CAN I TOUCH YOU?

hahahaweohawoehtawhgahahaehae.
I'M HILARIOUS!!!!

madhorse @ 2004-05-29T11:07:00

2004-05-29T15:09:00Z

You see her, you can't touch her
You hear her, you can't hold her
You want her, you can't have her
You want to, but she won't let you
You see her, you can't touch her
You hear her, you can't hold her
You want her, you can't have her
You want to, but she won't let you

She's not so special so look what you've done, boy
She's not so special so look what you've done, boy
She's not so special so look what you've done

Now you wish she'd never come back here again
Oh, never come back here again

You see her, you can't touch her
You hear her, you can't hold her
You want her, you can't have her
You want to, but she won't let you

You see her, you can't touch her
You hear her, you can't hold her
You want her, you can't have her
You want to, but she won't let you

She's not so special so look what you've done, boy
She's not so special so look what you've done, boy
She's not so special so look what you've done

Now I'm nailed above you
Gushing from my side
It's with your sings that you have killed me
Thinking of your sins I die
Thinking how you'd let them touch you
How you'd never realise
That I'm ripped and hang forsaken
Knowing never will I rise
Again

You still see her
Oh, you hear her
You want her
Oh, you want to
You see her
You hear her
You want her
You still want to

madhorse @ 2004-05-28T16:31:00

2004-05-28T20:57:10Z

THE BIG PICTURE
the picture is far too big to look at kid. your eyes wont open wide enough and you are constantly surrounded by that swirling stream of what is and what was. well, we've all made our predictions but that truth still isn't out. so if you wnat to see the future, go stare into a cloud.

and keep trying to find your way out of that mase of memories. it all sort of looks familiar but then a corner, you are right back where you were and your only hope is that forgetting might make a door appear.
is it your fear of being buried that makes you so afraid to speak? an avalanche of opinions like the one that fell that i am now underneath. it was my voice that moved that first rock and i would do it all again. so, i mean, its cool if you keep quiet but i like singing.

so i'll be holding my note and stomping and strumming and feeling so very lucky. there is nothing i know except that this lifetime is one moment and wishing will just leave me empty. so you can try and live in darkness but you will never shake the light. it will greet you every morning and make you more aware with its absence at night, when you are wrapped up in your blanket, baby, that comfortable cocoon. but i have seen the day of your awakening boy and its coming soon.

so go ahead and lose yourself in luquor and you can praise the clouded mind but it isn't what you are thinking, it's the course of history, your position in line. you are just a piece of the puzzle so i think you had better find you place. and dont go blaming your knowledge on some fruit you ate.

beacause there has been a great deal of discussion, yes, about the properties of man. Animal or Angel? you were carved from bone but your heart, its just sand. and the wind is going to scatter it and cover everything with love. so if it makes you happy, then keep kneeling, mama, but i am standing up.

beacause this veil it has been lifted. my eyes are wet with clarity. i have been a witness to such wonders. oh, i have searched for themall across this country but i think ill be returning now to the town where i was born. and i understand you must keep moving, friend, but im headed home.

im gonna follow the road and let the scenery sweeping by easily enter my body. ill send you all this message in code, under ground, over mountains, through forests and deserts and cities. all across electric wire, its a baited line. the hook is in deep, boys, there is no more time. so you can struggle in the water and be too stubborn to die or you could just let go and be lifted to the sky.
-bright eyes

new cds
-lifted by bright eyes
--long gone before daylight by THE CARDIGANS !!! :) :) :)
---franz ferdinand

sssibb!

2004-05-28T01:23:42Z

Sanibel pics

bubble room!

SIB the bird and me fishing for nothing haha

the two of u are the most caring wonderful girlfriends a girl can have no matter what has happened. I LOVE YOU GIRLS! lets get married! haha <3

SEXY JENN PIC! haha

i wonder if it will fit in my room!

KISS IT! thats right before i got stung by a bee ouch

theres more from lisa i have to put up. i love my girls. it must become a yearly trip. truly AWESOME friends. jenn get those john mayer tickets! ill drive up and we will go for sure. looking at those makes me happy and realize that they are all i need in life. a few close friends that love you in all ways no matter ur faults or mistakes. they are true friends to me. we have made it through thick and thin and all in between. SSSIBB
ps lisa we have to make up for last nights botch! this weekend get sam to go too without jay this time though hahaha. it was a funny night considering.

im moving up and on.

madhorse @ 2004-05-27T19:29:00

2004-05-27T23:41:02Z

u think he'll stick around in the end. i dont. ur friends will and what do u do to them when they are just trying to be a nice friend. you shit on them. it wasnt us or me this time. ITS YOU. NEVER come to me to talk about anything personal then. if u dont want to have a friend to talk to about stuff, fine. what is
your deffiniton of a friend then????
you seemed perfectly fine to confide in me before, but its not till some one gives u negative feedback that u shut them down in every way. fuck that i dont need to deal with ur bullshit drama antics. if u didnt give a fuck what people thought u should have NEVER asked their opinion in the first place.
now im pissed off
i can play this journal beat up on ur friend bullshit too.

madhorse @ 2004-05-26T11:36:00

2004-05-26T15:36:18Z

LOOK OUT!
ïòð

madhorse is a radioactive squirrel!!

From Go-Quiz.com

madhorse @ 2004-05-25T14:56:00

2004-05-25T18:57:10Z

im back

that was a great day

2004-05-16T22:08:32Z

madhorse @ 2004-05-16T16:35:00

2004-05-16T20:41:50Z

Florida tomorrow!
im not looking foward to a 22 hours drive but it certainly will be fun. i have 1st shift to washington. then one of the other girls go.
oh i washing my car late sat. and i found a bubble in the tire so i flipped out and then called city tire and they said hurry, got that fixed fucking 111$ then he checks the other and says the another one has it, but not to worry about it cuz it was small, and that the bubbles where from pot holes and that focus tries wherer pron to them. GRRRRRRR this car
going to dinner soon i think
i still have to pack more
im wearing my bathing suit top cuz it doesnt cut off the poision ivy, so it doesnt itch.
yeah so toddles for 9 DAYS!
WOOOOOO SANIBEL!!!!!!!!!!!!
:)

madhorse @ 2004-05-12T22:23:00

2004-05-13T02:24:53Z

look at the 5th leg!!!!!!!!! HAHHAHA

AWESOME!

madhorse @ 2004-05-12T22:07:00

2004-05-13T02:15:08Z

surprise me. sweep me off my feet. Please! cuz i dk

got 152$ back for all my books
went to tiger lily cuz i had the money and pete talked
kissed him
went to gap to buy stuff ended up talking to danielle for an hour and then filled out an app.
hung out with my brother for a bit outside
jessica made me and shana food
animal FUCKIN crackers !!
grim is FUCKIN crazy he clawed my 'area'
ugh im very sleepy
im listening to radiohead, i forgot how great they are
i need to pack
my stomach is flipping out
need to give it more thought

madhorse @ 2004-05-11T21:52:00

2004-05-12T01:53:48Z

its the heart of hearts i simply wanted to touch. noting more nothing less

madhorse @ 2004-05-11T21:02:00

2004-05-12T01:02:22Z

its finally over